I love you Berry

Unbearable emptiness. Last night (30/11/11) died my best friend in the world. Red, English Cocker Spaniel Berry. He was 15 years old. He died of old age, but this is not easier. Don't know how to survive. I regret about so many things. In truth, I left so many times when he wanted to go with me and looked at the track, I have been rough sometimes ... and it was so easy to make him happy. Take a walk, hug, caress, feed, play ... He was always so happy to see me. Real friend. He does not care who I am, good, bad , successful or not. A special relationship where words are not needed. And now I sit and stroke imaginary Berry. We met when both were puppies. I 7 years old, he was 7 months old, and since then he always been with me. Always. He always felt me and I felt him. Last year or two he began to fade, almost lost his hearing, eyesight, began to lose weight. He died in my arms. And the last 2 days he couldn't get up, didn't drink didn't eat, and the worst thing about this is that you can't change it, stop it, can't help and must accept it. No one will replace him, because it was a special dog, my most nearest creature in the world, my dear friend. My friend. But even at death's door when I stroked him and spoke to him he slightly wagged his little tail, still recognizing me and even comforted with it. He loved to eat and died hungry. He just couldn't eat. Couldn't even open the mouth. I ran to him, checked every second and that's when I went to check again, I noticed that his front paws twitching, I began to touch it, stroke him and I felt each of his shudder through myself as electroshock.
 Then he stretched out, as usual dogs stretch after a nap, stretched out his legs and neck, very strongly, even opened his mouth, stood for a moment and completely relaxed. His heart was very strong, continued to beat more long, but he was already dead. What was that? He felt hurt? Or so it was supposed to be? I didn't want him to feel pain. And I don't know that now. Where is he? Where they all after death? Who knows? He feels good? Who or what he is now? I just want him to be happy and continued to live. I very badly want to meet him again. 
Berry I miss you so much. I love you forever and ever my lovely little dog, my ray of light, my best friend and much much more